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A monogamous relationship. Commentary: Hollywood images of swing clubs and anonymous sex aside, friends-first swinging is arguably one of the most common forms of swinging. Contrast open marriage. This is a guide to terms you might hear in the polyamorous community.

Etymology: The hostess of a cupcake party often provides refreshments, hence the name. Etymology: Enoch Arden was a character in a poem by Alfred Tennyson. Some terms on this are used by both the polyamorous and BDSM communities; these terms will take you to the appropriate entry in the BDSM glossary. Contrast triadquad ; See related serial monogamy. See related quad.

See related responsible non-monogamy. Commentary: The Ethical Slut is not a book about polyamory per se ; the primary focus is on creating relationships which are not sexually monogamous and are positive and healthy, but it does not focus exclusively on loving or emotional intimate relationships, and does not create frameworks for managing the emotional or romantic component of such relationships.

Commentary: In traditional monogamous relationships, any sexual activity with anyone outside that relationship is generally viewed as cheating. Condom contracts may specify under what conditions a member of that group may exchange body fluids or have Seeking swingers free cat from dating dynamics contact without barriers with a new partner, or may specify that such contact is not permissible with any new partner.

Many people who believe in group marriage may create civil contracts and other legally binding business arrangements that specify the type and extent of financial commitments within the marriageor even form a legal corporation that defines the marriage. See related corporate marriagecluster marriagepolygamypolyandrypolygynytroika. Contrast open swinging.

Usage: Common in the swinging community; uncommon outside it. Etymology: The term was coined by Deborah Anapol. See related hot bi babe. Etymology: The term free love is generally attributed to John Humphrey Noyes, founder of the Oneida Communitywho later abandoned it in favor of complex marriage. See related BDSM: «voyeurism».

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See also co-husbandco-spouse. Legal In most Western countries, the crime of entering in one marriage while still legally married to another person; marriage fraud. See also friends-first swinging. Colloquial A relationship in which a Seeking swingers free cat from dating dynamics has several partners, and spends a set period of time with each partner, during which time he is sexually involved only with that partner.

See related Enoch Arden Act. BISEXUAL: Of or related to sexual attraction to or sexual activity with both men and women, though not necessarily equally; as, a bisexual person : a person who is sexually attracted to or sexually active with partners of both sexes.

See also closed-group swinging. Usually carries an implicit understanding that when the couple is physically together again, the relationship will become monogamous. COWBOY: Colloquial A monogamous man who engages in a relationship with a polyamorous woman with the intention of separating her from any other partners and bringing her into a monogamous relationship.

CUDDLE PARTY: Trademark A social gathering of adults which encourages consensual physical affection, such as cuddling, massage, and other forms of physical expression, but which forbids overt sexual activity or sexual stimulation. See group marriage ; See related intentional familyco-spouseco-husbandco-wife. A closed-group swinging relationship can look very similar to a polyfidelitous relationship from the outside; the primary difference between them often being the focus of the relationship sexual vs.

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Usage: Seems to be primarily a regional expression in parts of the United States. Sociology Serial monogamy. A relationship in which one person is married to two spouses, regardless of the sex of those spouses. Commentary: Some swingers practice emotional fidelity. APC acronym : See alt.

While not all Pagans are polyamorous and not all polyamorous people are Pagan, there is enough overlap between the communities that some polyamorous people practice handfasting as an emotional or spiritual symbol of their relationships and commitment. DYAD: A relationship involving exactly two people.

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Contrast monogamy ; See related polygamypolygynypolyandry. FREE Seeking swingers free cat from dating dynamics Colloquial A person who practices polyamory in a way that tends to separate or isolate all of his or her romantic relationships from one another, treating each as a separate entity. Usage: Originated with the swinging community; uncommon outside it. Contrast wibble ; See also compersion. Commentary: In the case of Def. Generally speaking, these partners do not know about one another, and each believes that the relationship is monogamousthough this is not always so; in some cases, some or all of the partners know of the existence of the other partners.

A group marriage is not recognized by and has no legal standing within most Western countries, but may have symbolic or emotional value to the people involved. See also co-wifeco-spouse. The ideas described in The Ethical Slut are pertinent to and valuable in swinging relationships as well. CO-WIFE: A woman in a group marriage who shares a spouse in common with at least one other woman in that group marriage.

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A state or condition of not engaging in marriage, or more generally not engaging in marriage or reproduction. Some of the terms in this glossary are used primarily in swinging; it should not be inferred from this that polyamory and swinging are the same thing. Liszt, Greenery Press,ISBN which outlines a framework for responsible non-monogamy and champions taking joy in ethical, safe promiscuity. Even in such relationships, most commonly sexual activity without the knowledge and explicit consent of the other members of the relationship is likely to be viewed as cheating.

In a polyamorous or swinging relationship, sexual activity with people outside the relationship may or may not be seen as cheating, depending on the context of that sexual activity and whether or not it violates the agreements of the people in that relationship. See related group marriage. Any relationship which does not permit its partners to seek other romantic or sexual partners at will; as, for example, a polyfidelitous relationship. See also fluid bondingcondom contract.

See also metamourco-husbandco-wife. Today, it is generally pd that many such arrangements were lesbian relationships. Sociology Of or relating to a society with no recognized rules or prescriptions on marriage, or which does not recognize marriage at Seeking swingers free cat from dating dynamics. Asexuals can and do form romantic relationships, though those relationships may include little or no sex.

ADULT BUFFET: Colloquial A specific type of group sex in which a group of consenting adults gets together for the purpose of sex, and each person in the group is free to have sex with any of the other members of the group he or she chooses. In this form of swingingemotionally intimate bonds can and often do form among all the people involved; this kind of swinging can often look very similar to polyamorythe primary difference between them often being the focus of the relationship sexual vs.

Commentary: Only a handful of states in the United States recognize covenant marriage provisions. See related metamourgroup marriage. Rather, there is enough crossover between the poly and swinging community that knowledge of some swinging terms is often helpful. Commentary: This is the most common form of marriage in most Western countries. The term was coined by the Kerista Commune. Some terms contain commentary; anything following the word Commentary indicates my own experiences, interpretations, or views on a particular subject, and should not be assumed to be part of the formal definition of the word.

Where possible, I have tried to define such terms in ways that reflect all these different usages. This doctrine was established as part of the Oneida Community. Usage: Primarily British; less common Seeking swingers free cat from dating dynamics the United Kingdom. CROSS-COUPLE: Of or relating to activities between a member of one couple and a member of another couple; as, for example, cross-couple relationship, a relationship between one person who is part a couple and a second person who is part of another couple.

Commentary: Asexuality should not be confused with lack of interest in romantic relationships. A handfasting is not legally recognized as a marriage unless the person performing the handfasting is authorized to perform marriages in a particular jurisdiction requirements for such authorization vary from place to place and the other legal requirements of marriage are met. Nevertheless, it is very popular in the polyamory community, and is very useful to many polyamorous people.

Commentary: Many advocates of free love object to the concept of marriage altogether, as they see it as a way to impose constraints and obligation on sexuality. The definitions given here, particularly of colloquialisms, reflect the usage I am most familiar with. Cohabitating: the state or practice of living together.

Links in the definitions will take you to other definitions on this unless the links are in «angle quotes»in which case they will take you off this. Etymology: So named because the Greek letter Delta looks like a triangle. Some of the terms have definitions that are not clearly established or universally accepted, particularly with regards to terms used to describe various relationship styles. The most accepted form of romantic relationship in most Western countries is a monogamous dyad.

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See related condom contract. GROUP MARRIAGE: A relationship in which three or more people consider themselves married to one another; in the polyamory community, most often a relationship involving more than one man and more than one woman, who may live together, share finances, raise children together, and otherwise share those responsibilities normally associated with marriage. Commentary: Handfasting ceremonies are not directly related to polyamory ; however, some people, particularly those involved with Wiccan or neo-Pagan spirituality or beliefs, may combine the two.